Posted by: William | January 18, 2008

Crouching at the Door

I am like the parent of a badly drug addicted child. My child has robbed me, beat me, tore apart my home. I am an enabler for him, I perpetuate his problem and the problem becomes mine. Realizing the error of my ways, I have bolted my doors against him. He’s locked out now so that he cannot cause me harm and I will stop enabling him. Now, I can hear him. He’s outside my door; continually. Banging, scratching and begging me to let him in. My paternal affections for him pulse through me and the thought of him out there in the cold breaks my heart. With every whimper and cry, my body is straining not to open the door to him. He begs me, appeals to my sensitivity. He reminds me, constantly through the wooden barricade, of our times together; I think to myself that perhaps I could invite him in, if only for a quick bite to eat. His sobbing causes my heart to pound and I long to be with him. But I know that if I open the door, he will come in and he will kill me.

I am the father of my sin. It lives and breathes and although Christ Jesus has, by his power, forced my sin outside, I can hear it. When things are quiet, surely I can hear it. It sits outside my door, begging to be let back in. Appealing to my logic, lying to my discernment. Making excuse after excuse for itself and although I know the searing, burning, slicing of its teeth into my soul will leave me bloody and in much pain, it is the fleshly indulgence that echoes through my mind. Oh and if that sin didn’t have an advocate, a lawyer, a smooth talking agent to even further entice me. This enemy I have given birth to is relentless, his mercenaries brutal, and this flesh, oh this flesh, what a pitiful thing; gullible to no end. Were it not for the mercy and advocacy of the Lord Christ Jesus, this flesh would certainly open its doors and welcome time and time again that blade bearing foe, sin!

This day, as in so many days, sin crouches at my door; scratching and tapping, begging for readmittance. Its desire is for me but in this weak flesh there is no chance that I could rule over it. I beseech God, by the Lord Jesus Christ to act swiftly in me and all others who endeavor to hold this position against these dreadful crimes. By the power of the Holy Spirit, give us feet planted firmly on the Rock. Drown out this enemy’s desperate moans! Protect us against this enemy’s ruthless agents in this world! God, in Christ Jesus pour out this mercy to your glory and your praise!

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Responses

  1. wihtout question ona the bes blogs i ever read…very good…thx fa postin… be bless… -g-

  2. Thank you for the encouragement.

  3. Wow dude this is great and powerful stuff.

    “I think to myself that perhaps I could invite him in, if only for a quick bite to eat.”

    thats line right their resonated loudly for me. it sums up so well those momentary temptations to just commit a “small’ sin thinking that its “no big deal” only to see it snowball into something more grotesque.

  4. Thank you, that’s very much what I had in mind when I wrote it.

  5. Very powerful Bill — Approaching poetic by referring to your flesh, your redeemed soul, and your sin as three separate personas. In my case, I think the three of us have worked it out such that none are satisfied. Said another way, each wants something more. Thanks for the imagery.


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