Posted by: William | February 29, 2008

A Very Long Movie

On my ipod, I have set up some “Smart Playlists”. Basically, the ipod reads different information about the songs and then compiles playlists based on qualities that I select. One of my playlists is based on the top 500 most played songs. At the bottom of the list are songs that have only been played two or three times all the way up to the top of the list where the songs have seen fifty or sixty plays. I was listening to my top 500 playlist while cleaning the house (there are guests coming over this evening and it’d be nice for them to continue the illusion that I am a clean person… that was mostly a joke). I had finally finished the bulk of the cleaning and I took a seat on a reclining chair in the living room and just listened to the music blaring for a while. Eventually, the Cranberries’ single, Dreams, came on (which by the way has the same melody as the Canadian national anthem). All of a sudden I slipped into this alternate reality where I was in some kind of weird Ferris Bueller’s Day Off type 80’s teen movie. I know, the Cranberries’ song isn’t an 80’s song, but for some reason it reminds me of that time period.


I sat there reclined for a few minutes listening to the song until it eventually ended. It was followed by another fantasy evoking song, Dashboard Confessional’s
Don’t Wait. This allowed that I would continue in a similar string of fantasies, just perhaps not so much focused in the 80’s. Following that song came yet another daydream-scape, Kelly Clarkson’s Because of You. Now, I know, this is all pretty weird. Especially that I’d make it public knowledge, but bear with me, it has a point.

 

After a while, a certain level of conviction set in. It wasn’t based on the music I was listening to, or anything that I was physically doing and so it perplexed me for a few minutes as I sat there and continued to listen. Eventually it dawned on me what exactly it was that was happening in my mind. I was superimposing myself into various whimsical movie-like scenarios in which I was the point. In my mind, I brought all of created history down into a tiny little five minute time frame where I was the leading role and I was doing an excellent job.

 

I stopped the music and sat quietly for a few minutes. I do not want to indulge wicked fantasies that promote me as the center of the universe. I am reminded that this movie cannot be reduced to two hours and five minutes, a month, a year, a lifetime, even time in general. This is the story of Jesus, by Jesus, for Jesus with all of the glory and honor and praise, to Jesus. I am, according to his grace, an extra at best.

 

Jesus, I pray that you would remind me daily that my life and all history is by you and for you. That all glory is yours and that I will only find true satisfaction and peace when I take my proper place, as you would direct, in your story. Thank you Jesus for choosing me even for such a small part of your story. God, I pray that you would sanctify me; sanctify your Church. God, get your glory!

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