Posted by: William | April 11, 2008

The Recovered Journal of the One Called Mankind

I find it to be most pleasant here. The grass is like the finest silk, and the richest color green that the eye can behold. Walking about in this garden, the sound of the water flowing is almost as a cool breeze crossing my ears. There is no other place in the world better than this; let alone another place at all. The fruits are most beautiful to my pallet and they are a pleasure to tend unto. It’s as if the temperature adjusts itself to ensure I’ll neither break a sweat nor shiver. The Animalia is all encompassingly agreeable to my fancy; for both my eye and my wonderment. The best though, oh the best is for last. The accord in this place is one which none could rival. Our engagement is so thorough and sweet; His mere presence is like a calming that falls upon me from a source unbeknownst, yet altogether more exhilarating than riding on the back of the most boisterous of creatures in field. Provision pours from Him, with everything I desire coming to me and me ever coming to Him. There are no limits to what He allows except for the diminutive section of agriculture that He seems to have set aside for other purposes. But to what extent does that matter to me? I have the greatest and most that there could be ever flowing from His hands; I could not imagine there could be more.

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From my own flesh He has given me even more. As if I were not content with all that He has given already; Himself, the creatures, the land, this breath I take even to this very moment. Yet His giving seems to find no end. It looks as if He even delights in the very look on my face when He has given and I believe it heartens Him to give even more. From my side he made me two. And even greater than the creatures in the field, this part of me is so fair and delightful. She is sweet to the taste and tender in touch. What a measure of love is this that He gives and gives and gives and when everything has been given, He, by His hand takes His already perfect creation and makes it even more so perfect by these stunning means. I am dazzling, yet fair in His sight; dare I say there is more that I could desire?

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In my fairest side I wandered today; finding myself gazing at the branches of the illicit tree. The soft, crisply colored leaves moved gently in the perfect breeze, and among them sat many vibrant red jewels of His crop. I wonder so absorbedly what could be within them; in my ear this idea rings, even right now. I know not of the dangers of this tree, for what does it mean to ‘die’? This I do not know, but I cannot ignore the greatness of His love for me. Even just to look on this forbidden tree brings me the greatest joy; as with all of the things He has made for me, it is perfect. And though perhaps for me it was made that tree to eat, most delicious and satisfying, but from this tree it was made for me not to eat for some reason I do not comprehend. I must run to tell myself of all these things.

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In whole I have returned to the prohibited tree; to discuss and to gaze. Even beneath this tree the shade clothes us in the most perfect manner that there is no sense of insufficiency to be considered. The bark of the tree creates a wondrous spectacle, an ambiguous pattern of endless fascination, winding up through and into the branches where the foliage takes its residence. Even the birds seem to have the most satisfying habitation among them; regardless of if they eat. It was during this inspection of the tree that the most dubious, long and slender annotations began to arise from one of the crawling creatures.

‘Die? You shall not die, but live as He lives!’ the creature says, constantly licking at the air in front of him. ‘Like a king with full understanding.’

My fairest side peered up at the limbs and branches while my dazzling side kept eyes fixed on our charlatan. Something new was at work within me as I listened to this creature speak. Even as the ground beneath me couldn’t be better suited for the soles of my feet, He could not be questioned on His goodness but this creature has asked me to just that. But under this tree it can be clearly seen that the limbs make great dwellings for the birds and the leaves quite full of pleasing shade. Then from this tree, how much better the fruit to the taste? Could it be that this is where His love has stopped, and His giving ceased; in the goodness of the fruit of this tree?

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This day, the gravest of errors has befallen me in all of my parts. I must hasten to explain, for where there once seemed endless space, there is not room for my memory anymore. Where I was formerly frenzied with thoughts of Him, I can only direct my thoughts to myself; my stomach was once filled with delight, now in spite of how much I eat, it is bitter and empty. Before my recollections have copiously vanished, I must be quick to give an account of what happened.

It was the cool and still dark hours of the morning; without regard to all of the contentment there was to be had around me, I lay awake pondering, not on Him as usual, but on the words of the creature by the tree. Feeling the perfect blades of grass on my backs, I could not consider them first; in my fairer side, I stood up yet ignoring the flawless temperature on my skin, the fullness of my belly, the gorgeous singing of the birds as the sun began to dawn. I ran swiftly to the forbidden tree, and found the creature waiting for me at its base. It was at this point that my dazzling side rose from sleeping to find my fairer side gone. But I knew where I had escaped to.

‘You will be like Him.’ Said the creature. ‘That is why He forbid you from touching, or eating from this tree. He is afraid that you will become like Him.’

The creatures words were so odious to Him, I’m sure. It was by them for the first time that I considered anything good that did not come from Him. For the first time, I loathed Him in my being for denying me something so good as to be like Him. How foolish I was. How absolutely foolish; to think that there could be anything good that did not come from Him.

I reached with my hand for the lowest morsel of ripe red fruit that hung from the tree. As I touched it I could feel something that felt like thunder running through my fingertips. The stem of the fruit broke from the tree and first a sense of openness swept over me on my parts; the same way one might feel walking out from under the shade of a large tree. I could feel my mouth begin to water; a sensation I was unfamiliar with. I felt for sure the new desire could only be satisfied by the fruit that I clutched in my hand. I raised the fruit to my lips and the creature below began to slowly lurch foreword in anticipation. It reached my lips, my teeth sliced through the outer skin and into the juicy white inside.

The first taste was most pleasant; as succulent as any other in the garden. I chewed it, but within my mouth it became hot, I could feel that it burned me. The skin inside my mouth became raw, and a wound developed. In panic I swallowed the bite I had taken, but a red fluid from inside me began to pour insatiably from my mouth. It flowed down my chins and onto my chest and breasts. I looked down at the apple in my hand; without delay it became blackened and withered. I dropped it revealing terrible burns and sores on the hands that held the fruit. The sores secreted red that dripped from my fingertips.

From the land behind us came a blowing cold wind. It caused chills to crawl up my spines and an uncontrollable shaking throughout all of my parts, especially my chins and knees. It was the blowing cold wind that highlighted the painfully disgusting appearance of my naked bodies. For fear that I might catch a glimpse of myself I scurried for something to cover this new feeling of regret.

As I crouched on the ground behind a large bush, the red fluid from my hand dripped onto the ground. Each drop made a kind of burning sound and blackened the turf that it landed upon. Slowly, as flowing, the blackened gray color spread out from around me. Starting in the center where my red fluid had landed; it inched slowly, but picked up speed as it got away from me. The air became colder, and I shivered more fiercely. The deadening in the grass reached the bush beside me, seemed to climb up the trunk and spread into the leaves, many of which started to fall off corresponding to the wind which grew stronger now.

The perfect blue in the sky was exchanged now for a dark grey. I could not see the sun anywhere, and there were no shadows cast by it. Nearly all the grass for as far as I could see was now a pale green and gray color. As I examined the land, I could see a small herd of deer in the field. I stared intently at them, and all at once there was something completely new. I could not explain what I saw, but in my being a new feeling of fear spread through my different members. I saw lion, so tame and gentle; I had often nestled within its large mane. But the quintessence of this creature had been altered. It lurked slowly toward the deer, when it had become close enough, it lounged on top and began to sink its claws and teeth into the deer’s flesh. Many of the heard ran, but the one who fell victim to the lion shrank to the ground and was torn to pieces. A red liquid spilled from it onto the earth until it did not move anymore. Some time passed, and the lion left the deer. When I was sure that it had gone, for I was now afraid of the creature, both of my members walked up to what was left. Staring down at it, I knew that this was death.

O the piercing of His voice. I cannot continue to recall anything but His voice. It echoes in my minds!

“What is this you have done!” His words are like daggers! They have sunken into me and I cannot pull them out! “Cursed is the ground because of you! For you are dust, and to dust shall you return!”

What pity has I for myself! “The serpent gave to me, and I ate!” I pleaded with Him, does He not understand that this was not my fault? But now all is darkness. I stared into His face as it faded from me; like I was sinking beneath the water and the last shafts of light shot through the surface for me to see. As I saw Him for the last, His voice was angry; but in His face there were tears. How cursed am I! For now, I am dead only my flesh keeps walking.

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Responses

  1. Wow. What is this I have done?

    Its funny how a video of a roller coaster from the ground doesn’t look so bad. However, when viewing a video taken from the front car as it travels through the loops, we move from third person to first person. While the video is not anywhere near the same as the actual ride, we can, through a good videographer, actually feel the fall.

  2. You should do this… I think might qualify.

    http://ricbooth.wordpress.com/2007/11/14/tag-i-am-it/


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